Pleasuring Your Way Through Crisis

The first and best use of our "Pleasure Tools" comes during times of crisis.

When crisis arrives in our lives, it can cause our bodies, minds and emotions to seize up. We may feel frightened, tingly, nauseous, panicked or numb. It's as if our higher self has turned off and we are trapped inside of a steel cage. And the worst part is, there really is no way out for us while we are engulfed in these feelings of fear and helplessness.

Hence, the brilliant Pleasure Tools! When we use them, we are reminding ourselves about the truth of who we really are, what our lives are really about.

Therapy is great, but it usually only engages the intellect. Self-medication with drugs, alcohol, food, sex or shopping can be useful in the short term but when used as a substitute for self-love, they usually make things worse. Radical self-care is the order of the day.

When we are panicked or depressed, our functioning drops to its lowest level. We can't think of anything but the problem at hand and we obsessively replay our fears. We may not want to shower, dress, eat well or be loving with our family or friends. We literally shut down all systems. But this becomes the time when we must take the extra steps to reprogram our state.

We are vibrational beings. That is to say: when our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states are taken as a unified whole, it can be seen that we are running our energy in a certain way at any given moment. The state we are in tends to be self-reinforcing and self-attracting. After we have had a great massage or satisfying lovemaking, the world around us appears a lot different than if we have just had an argument or are feeling stressed. This changed perception is entirely valid and will create events that bring more of the same. Good news if you're happy, not such great news if you're blue.

What really re-orients us is reminding ourselves of what it feels like to be OK again. When we revive that feeling of okayness, we can be clear enough to find our way through the situation, so this is a big investment in ourselves. The great part is, even if we have to do this day after day, hour after hour, it's really no problem, because what we are using to "feel our way" is sensing where our pleasure is, in any given moment. You could say that the journey becomes the destination.


Life can include some very un-fun stuff. Some of it we can do something about!


Some quick strategies for pleasuring your way through fear and pain include:

Breathe through your tummy.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Pleasure yourself and/or your partner.

Find something funny on the internet. If you're in a hurry, www.theonion.com is a great place to drop by.

Take that hot shower or bath, breathe in the fragrance of your soap or shampoo as if it were a gift to you.

Dress well. If you have a favorite outfit that you've been saving for a special occasion, why not wear it?

Make a good meal for yourself, using the foods that you know are good for you. If you splurge and eat something you usually shouldn't, enjoy it to the max, too.

If you have a favorite cologne or perfume, wear it!

If you have dietary supplements, take them!

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Visualizations are another powerful way to remind your body/mind that you are going to be okay.

At this moment, it is okay to turn off the analytical, desperately-seeking-answers part of our brain and take some time to turn within. A visualization will speak to your body/mind in its own language and allow solutions to emerge.

Below is one that I have created, but many more are possible. The important thing is to deliberately create a relaxing scenario and let yourself bask in it:

First, take at least 5 whole breaths, through your tummy, paying close attention to every moment of the breathing. Notice where your body is tight, and direct your breath to those areas.

Next, imagine holding a ball about chest level. This ball you can just call, "the situation at hand." Give it a kiss and a hug, and imagine throwing it. Watch it bounce, sink, roll or even float away. You are accepting and embracing what is going on, without getting caught up in the actual details.

Imagine that a ball of light is radiating from your heart. Feel a gentle warmth that gradually becomes stronger and glows out through your arms, torso, legs and head. This is your energy core. Imagine that it is so radiant that it warms and transmutes everything it touches. If a dark cloud of fear is looming or hovering, imagine that the radiant light gently shakes it and breaks it up.

Comment: What seems to set you aright when you experience feelings of stress or panic? Share!