Monday, May 10, 2010

Complete and Utter Relaxation...Ahhhhhhh

With our lives of multiple shifting layers of responsibility, it's all too easy to rob ourselves of our full life experience.

Try taking a few minutes to enjoy your fully relaxed presence.

Look around you at something of real beauty. It could be the face of a loved one, a lovely plant or tree, or anything else that really captures you, heart and soul. Can the world be transformed from a knotty set of problems into something much more wonderful, by our simple choice to really savor it?

Being "in the moment" is so much easier if we approach it from a viewpoint of enjoyment. Because being fully present is easier when we're fully relaxed, and we're fully relaxed when we're receptive, in joy. Kind of like a baby, just taking it in.

While I always advocate honoring Real Life more than Digital Life, you can relax and surrender to beauty that is on your computer screen, too. Why, you can take a simple screen-saver to whole new levels of marvelousness with just a little bit of surrendered enjoying!

I found this amazing video clip of floral artist Anthony Ward creating one of his celebrated arrangements while co-performing with the musical group Zap Mama. If you take the 10 minutes and really relax into beholding this scene, you might find it to be deeply refreshing!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

What is a Frugal Goddess?

What is a Frugal Goddess, you might ask - and why does Adrienne refer to "Sister Goddesses?"

A Frugal Goddess is a woman who is aware of (or open to discovering!) her connection with All That Is, and wants to LIVE LARGE. But she also has a budget and wants to manage it responsibly. She is ready to manifest MORE now. For herself, for her loved ones and for the planet.

She loves her body and loves her life! She has been through the muck and rigors of many a swampy battlefield and is ready to take command of her energy, focus and direction.

Most of all, she has big dreams and a raging desire to savor every little juicy drop of goodness that the world has to offer. She is on the planet to add her love and vision to the ongoing group art project called Life.

Does this sound like you?

I got deeply involved in this path when I took a "Mastery" class with "Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts" in New York City. I'd been working at a metaphysical publisher for a couple of years and was quietly seething with rage and frustration after having been passed up for the position that I'd been promised when I was hired. I was seriously disappointed and became dedicated to making my life everything it could be. When the School of Womanly Arts phoned to order 300 copies of one of our motivational books, I knew immediately from their silly name, that these were people I wanted to meet! So I requested their information, and staked some 4 months salary (through the miracle of credit cards) to take the Mastery course. This meant flying to NYC several times, as the workshop was held one weekend a month for 4 months. Also put this on credit cards. These expenses became tax deductible, as professional enrichment, but the credit card charges remained, gathering interest, as credit card charges do.

While enjoying time with my fellow Sister Goddesses, I noticed that many of us were in states of financial stress. A big part of Mama Gena's (aka Regena Thomashauer) philosophy is that women can conjure all sorts of financial abundance: enough to pay for the class, and any other extravagance one might be able to imagine. The world is full of amazing luxuries, and we deserve all of them! The more expensive, the better.

She featured stories of women whose loved ones - husbands, family members - had given them the money for the class, were taking them on expensive trips, and who were now manifesting six-figure jobs. But most of us were self-employed, entrepreneurs, even single moms. We were in financial straits and felt tense that we were spending $500 a day to be at the class. It seemed "unprosperous" to discuss any feelings of pressure or lack, so we continued in silence, building up debt and using the Pleasure Tools to get through our stress, in the hope that we would be manifesting better jobs, more generous men, or major windfalls, soon.

I'd been in the metaphysical community for my whole life, and now was in a dead-end job with a metaphysical publisher; ironically enough, selling books with titles like,
"Think and Grow Rich."

Was all this positive-thinking stuff B.S., I wondered, or was there some missing lever waiting to be discovered?
I began the experiment... of finding out if Mama's brilliant philosophy about Pleasure could co-exist with real-life daily responsibilities.

Can a woman feel powerful and attract prosperity, while still respecting her budget?


I am finding in many ways, that the answer is Yes! And, step by step, this wondering has become a series of support groups, then a book proposal, then a blog, and now, a gorgeous online forum. Welcome to the experiment. Let's find out if it works!


Weigh in if you'd like: What are the tricks to attracting abundance while remaining financially mindful?

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Pleasuring Your Way Through Crisis

The first and best use of our "Pleasure Tools" comes during times of crisis.

When crisis arrives in our lives, it can cause our bodies, minds and emotions to seize up. We may feel frightened, tingly, nauseous, panicked or numb. It's as if our higher self has turned off and we are trapped inside of a steel cage. And the worst part is, there really is no way out for us while we are engulfed in these feelings of fear and helplessness.

Hence, the brilliant Pleasure Tools! When we use them, we are reminding ourselves about the truth of who we really are, what our lives are really about.

Therapy is great, but it usually only engages the intellect. Self-medication with drugs, alcohol, food, sex or shopping can be useful in the short term but when used as a substitute for self-love, they usually make things worse. Radical self-care is the order of the day.

When we are panicked or depressed, our functioning drops to its lowest level. We can't think of anything but the problem at hand and we obsessively replay our fears. We may not want to shower, dress, eat well or be loving with our family or friends. We literally shut down all systems. But this becomes the time when we must take the extra steps to reprogram our state.

We are vibrational beings. That is to say: when our mental, physical, emotional and spiritual states are taken as a unified whole, it can be seen that we are running our energy in a certain way at any given moment. The state we are in tends to be self-reinforcing and self-attracting. After we have had a great massage or satisfying lovemaking, the world around us appears a lot different than if we have just had an argument or are feeling stressed. This changed perception is entirely valid and will create events that bring more of the same. Good news if you're happy, not such great news if you're blue.

What really re-orients us is reminding ourselves of what it feels like to be OK again. When we revive that feeling of okayness, we can be clear enough to find our way through the situation, so this is a big investment in ourselves. The great part is, even if we have to do this day after day, hour after hour, it's really no problem, because what we are using to "feel our way" is sensing where our pleasure is, in any given moment. You could say that the journey becomes the destination.


Life can include some very un-fun stuff. Some of it we can do something about!


Some quick strategies for pleasuring your way through fear and pain include:

Breathe through your tummy.

Smile at yourself in the mirror.

Pleasure yourself and/or your partner.

Find something funny on the internet. If you're in a hurry, www.theonion.com is a great place to drop by.

Take that hot shower or bath, breathe in the fragrance of your soap or shampoo as if it were a gift to you.

Dress well. If you have a favorite outfit that you've been saving for a special occasion, why not wear it?

Make a good meal for yourself, using the foods that you know are good for you. If you splurge and eat something you usually shouldn't, enjoy it to the max, too.

If you have a favorite cologne or perfume, wear it!

If you have dietary supplements, take them!

* * *

Visualizations are another powerful way to remind your body/mind that you are going to be okay.

At this moment, it is okay to turn off the analytical, desperately-seeking-answers part of our brain and take some time to turn within. A visualization will speak to your body/mind in its own language and allow solutions to emerge.

Below is one that I have created, but many more are possible. The important thing is to deliberately create a relaxing scenario and let yourself bask in it:

First, take at least 5 whole breaths, through your tummy, paying close attention to every moment of the breathing. Notice where your body is tight, and direct your breath to those areas.

Next, imagine holding a ball about chest level. This ball you can just call, "the situation at hand." Give it a kiss and a hug, and imagine throwing it. Watch it bounce, sink, roll or even float away. You are accepting and embracing what is going on, without getting caught up in the actual details.

Imagine that a ball of light is radiating from your heart. Feel a gentle warmth that gradually becomes stronger and glows out through your arms, torso, legs and head. This is your energy core. Imagine that it is so radiant that it warms and transmutes everything it touches. If a dark cloud of fear is looming or hovering, imagine that the radiant light gently shakes it and breaks it up.

Comment: What seems to set you aright when you experience feelings of stress or panic? Share!

Friday, January 30, 2009

Meet Your Pleasure Tools!

It may have been Mama Gena who coined the term "pleasure tools." She has discovered some excellent verbiage to describe this Pleasure Path journey. You'll find the best of her basics in her book, Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts.
In Mama's world, every woman can consider herself a "pleasure researcher" and hence, never fail at anything...because it's all research, see?
When you're feeling rotten, you're having a "pleasure emergency."
When you are making yourself feel rejuvenated and powerful, you are "fluffing" yourself.
When you clean up your clutter to rearrange your bedroom, bathroom, sock drawer or other non-pleasurable mess, it's called "pussifying," because you're not just cleaning up a mess, you're making way for a more pleasurable use of your stuff. You are pleasuring yourself by cleaning! The woman is a genius. This blog draws greatly on her contribution. After all, she's the one who coined the term, "the Pleasure Revolution."

The way I see it, your Pleasure Tools are the things you already reach for every day, but you haven't given them the proper credit yet. Or you may discover your pleasure tools in happenstance things you stumble across on your path and realize:
"Wow, I forgot! I
love this activity/band/movie/color!"
If it makes you feel optimistic and refreshed, if it gives you a belly laugh or turns you on, then you have just found a Pleasure Tool. And if it makes you feel in touch with your core or your sense of purpose, then you know you've really found a gem, something you will want to return to again and again.

We tend to think that life is about hard work, that pleasure is something one gets around to only when the work is done. And yet, it's never really done. So... let's make room for pleasure's treasures now! Additionally, let's face it: life is very challenging. There are about a thousand ways in which daily circumstances can pummel our spirits, offering to make us feel worn down, used up or even "less-than." With your Pleasure Tools, you can "pedal" through it all with grace.

That morning cup of tea, the walk you take, a conversation with a friend: these aren't mere routines or distractions, they are actually saving your life.
And extra gold stars for you if you're taking a class just for your enjoyment, or get regular massages!

When you've elevated your favorite parts of life to the status of pleasure tools, you are now reaching for the things that make you happy, on purpose and with a goal in mind. The goal being, to be juiced and jazzed about living! Instead of merely stumbling through a life that seems to be mostly drudgery, broken by moments of happiness that occur by accident, savoring them hastily or even guiltily and then pushing them aside to go off and do the next "have to," as a nascent pleasure researcher, you can now prioritize these as your
Pleasure Tools: important items that are crucial in helping you get to where you want to go.


How so? As you start to pay attention to your pleasure, listening to your body, heeding its signals, you will be building your life on a foundation that you can really live with. That lump in your throat, that tickle in your stomach, that ahhhh of relief: these are the signals that tell you what's really true. When you start befriending these, you will be inviting synchronicity and your life can shift very quickly!

Are you job or house-hunting, rebounding from a breakup, trying to take your life to a higher level? Keep your Pleasure Tools close at hand, and things will go that much more deliciously.


Pleasure Homework: Write in a journal or on a piece of paper, a list of the things you do today that are just for you. Then add the things that you love out in the world that keep you feeling juiced, inspired and grateful. Keep your pleasure list with you and update it regularly! Is there something that makes the list but you don't include in your life nearly enough? Consider letting it in more.

Please report back to me below: I want to know what jazzes your life!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

What's So Great About Pleasure?

You may be wondering, "What's the big deal about this Pleasure Path, anyway?"

You may even be thinking that something as light and airy-sounding as "pleasure" is frivolous, trivial, irresponsible, decadent, a dangerous distraction. What kind of havoc would we wreak if we abandoned ourselves to the pursuit of pleasure?

Awakening to pleasure means noticing what makes us feel good and what makes us feel bad. And committing ourselves to feeling good. When we make this commitment, we are telling the world that our happiness and joy really do matter. That it is not tolerable to allow situations that rob us of our joy. We heed our feelings and intuition, we do the things that give us a sense of purpose.

Prioritizing our pleasure means that we are actually showing up to life. And showing up is what the world really wants from us. It's what our kids want, what our partner wants, what our friends want, what our clients want. They may think they want things from us, but what they really want is us. We may think that we're showing up to do stuff for them but if we're unhappy, we are really just going through the motions. How many years could be wasted doing that? We may think that we can't afford the luxury of taking care of ourselves. But are we really doing anyone a service by being emotionally malnourished?

I'm sure any of us can remember those old-school old schoolteachers who were extremely cranky because they were unhappy. They sure made life hell for the kiddies. Yet they probably imagined that they were doing their duty by everyone. It was a waste of time, wasn't it?

The old airplane emergency procedure drill emphasizes that you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping another person with theirs.

You already know intellectually that only when you take care of yourself can you take care of others. Pleasure -- seeking pleasure, getting to know your own pleasure points, is a quick and easy way to remember how to take care of yourself! It's portable, it's adaptable, it's ever-changing, and very personal. It either works, or it doesn't. And you can always try again!

A pleasure outlook makes the journey fun. And fun is serious business. Who is going to benefit your children or clients more, a stressed-out martyred you, or an energized, mischievous you?

So...Pleasure On, Baby!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Fine Art of Living

Welcome!

This blog is about inventing, sharing and enjoying some amazing tools we can use to enhance our lives. It's bound to be riotous and irreverent, and is probably not for the faint of heart.

A Frugal Goddess is a woman who knows how to coax out the deliciousness in every day, while being resposible her budget, responsive to her loved ones and fearlessly finding herself in just the right flow to create whatever she wants. Including world-changing adventures, financial freedom, more joy for herself and her family.

And the pleasure tools we'll be developing and discussing are exactly the medicine for men, too.

It all starts with your desires, your dreams, your pleasure. Noticing what makes you feel alive. Doing this more deliberately and supporting each other in doing so. Life is delicious, let's dine!

"Life is a feast, and most poor suckers are starving." - Rosalind Russell, as Auntie Mame

***

In advance, I'd like to let you know that this conversation owes a debt of gratitude to a writer and educator named Regena Thomashauer, aka Mama Gena, founder of the School of Womanly Arts in New York City. You can learn more about her at www.mamagenas.com.

She dares to posit that our pleasure is the life force in action - and therefore completely worthy of our undivided attention.
She is a founder, among many other delicious, dynamic and fearless humans throughout life, mind and time, of what we like to call,
"The Pleasure Revolution."
Perhaps you'd like to take part?

Wear what you like - this is a co-ed slumber party. Bring over your favorite snack, plus a bit to share, and cozy up for a discussion on the most relevant of topics: your joy and pleasure!

***

Today's Exercise: Consider how you spend your life's energy. What proportion of your time is to maintain the bureaucratic aspect of life - and how much of it is sheerly for your enjoyment? How would it feel if you were to give pleasure more priority?

Sounds like selfishness? Not at all! A happy woman is a juicy woman, poised to bring her family and community MORE... More interest, more freedom, more adventure.

And the same goes for men! The key to everyone's personal power is right at that spot where we are loving life.
Can we afford not to prioritize our pleasure?

For your comment: Tell about an unexpected pleasure you found recently.
(Mind you, if things get too smutty around here, I may have to edit for the public view - but be assured, I enjoyed it all the same!)

"Give a man a free hand, and he'll run it all over you." - Mae West

Adrienne Prince, author of The Frugal Goddess, is a bad-ass world-saving bitch. As are most of her friends. (Though some would prefer she not use that term.)